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Monday, January 3, 2011

Rebecca = deer in the headlights

Well, as several of you have probably read or heard by now....
 "Did you bring BOTH a blue AND a pink marker with you??!"  Jeromy asked.  Um, DUH. 
I think I'm a little bit in shock.  I had been telling others and even myself that it was probably a boy, but now that we have confirmation, I'm not sure I really believed it.  I was trying to be really Zen and "oh, it doesn't matter, as long as it's healthy!" about the whole thing, but I'm sure pretty much everyone who knows me suspected--correctly--that I secretly kind of wanted a girl.  I tried not to, I really did.  I know how incredibly lucky we are to have a healthy baby and to have not had any fertility issues ,and that I'm kind of a jerk for caring about anything else.  But this is the girl who has been saving a box of Barbie stuff, a pristine American Girl doll, and a dress-up box for years.  I was feeling fairly confident about dealing with a little girl, but I'm more than a little intimidated by the thought of raising a boy.  Traditional male stuff has always been totally alien to me; I don't really DO contact sports or toy trucks or loud "blam blam! I shot you!" games.  And yes, I know, we could very well have had a girl that was into that stuff.  But at least I could have dressed her in pink sparkly stuff until she was old enough to protest.    

Don't get me wrong, I WANT a boy. The thought that Jeromy will probably be getting a little buddy to play Legos and throw a ball with gives me warm fuzzies all over. Many of my favorite people on the planet are members of the male species.  Boys are great; I just really want a girl, TOO.  If someone looked into the future right now and told me that next time it would for sure be a girl, I'd probably snap out of my little pout and be just fine.  But as it is, I'm kind of mentally adjusting our "we'll stop after two" decision to "we'll stop as soon as mommy gets her girl!" which I'm sure Jeromy will be thrilled about. (Yes honey, I know that college scholarships don't grow on trees).

While I know that this little theory is in no way scientific, I would swear from personal experience/observation that a lot of women who are really hoping for a girl end up with a boy, and women who are more mellow and don't really care either way end up with girls! So, in some ways I feel like this is a karma thing, as though the universe is probably reminding me that I can't will things to be just the way I want them all the time.  I think nature is telling me to chill out and go with the flow and do some yoga or something.   

Jeromy said that having a girl might have been the worst thing for me, because I probably would have gone completely manic with the girly princess stuff.  My brother and his fiance had similar thoughts.  I'm sure they are all right.  Hopefully this baby boy adventure that we are embarking on will help me to be a more open-minded and balanced person. 
I SO would have gone there...
I'm still not playing with toy guns, though.

I do know that it's going to be fine.  I will tuck away our girl name (NOBODY CLOSE TO US BETTER USE IT!!!  Just kidding.  Not really.) and the feminine nursery pictures and the Barbie box for another little one down the road, whether it's ours or a friend's or relative's.  I will quit being selfish and deal with myself.  It's not like I'm going to look at our baby boy when he arrives and try to negotiate a swap for someone else's little girl.  I have no doubt that once we meet our baby, I won't be able to imagine having things any other way.  

Besides, I did think of one major bonus for me: JEROMY has to do the "birds and bees" talk for this kiddo!!!  HA!!

So enough about me and my therapist-couch issues....here are the ultrasound pictures!
Side profile...looks like a baby!

Apparently waving to us

Looking at the little skeleton face from the front

Tiny foot

 They said that he was "being shy" so they couldn't get a great "It's a boy" picture, but they promised us that they were 100% sure on the gender.  I'm glad they could tell, because we really couldn't see it AT ALL.  

Still the Baby Girl of the house...
We are hard at work on names.  The girl name was 99% decided on (so, again, OF COURSE it's a boy) but the boy name list is still pretty long.  We'll keep you posted.

A funny gender side note.....
This morning I realized that every time I had imagined today's ultrasound, I had pictured the perinatal specialist as a male, and got all mad at myself for making the sexist assumption that a highly-trained medical specialist wouldn't be a female.  (My first assumption was correct, though!)
Then, when we announced our big news today, I think about 4 or 5 people (including one of my parents), said something along the lines of "Oh, the "Doctor" nickname works, then!"  Ha!  I guess we ALL need to remember that females can be doctors, too!


COMING SOON...
A SUPER awkward story about my last visit to the OBGYN office!  It's nothing gross, but it was high on the embarrassment scale.  Prepare to enjoy my mortification.

8 comments:

  1. OH, how exciting!!! Congrats on the boy!! We had a boys name we agreed on and ready to go, but the girls names...I have several I love and he has several he loves, but we dont agree on any. I am hoping I just win in the end : ) AND, we didnt care about the gender eitehr way, and I was pretty sure it was a boy based on all the old wives tales and my symptoms, and I was SHOCKED when they said girl. AND, I have gone SO off the deep end of girly stuff.

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  2. Congrats on the boy!

    I'll add some fuel to your theory - I was pretty indifferent (perhaps even leaning slightly towards boy), and we have a girl. Now my husband, he really wanted a boy, and still does. I tell him to be careful, every time he mentions it, he's upping our chance of having another girl (which I would LOVE, for the record, so maybe I'm swinging chances back in favor of boy. hmmmm...)

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  3. Aww! Congrats to you, your hubby and your little boy! How exciting!

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  4. Maybe your theory is right - J and I were pretty unconcerned but also maybe feeling more comfortable with boy. Crazy! P.S. I am avoiding showing my Jeremy this post for fear he will no longer associate with you after seeing you spell Legos with two g's :-p

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  5. Okay, you need to bring your pristine American Girl doll over here and have a tea party with Kit and Izzy.

    Ha ha! Seriously, you're going to be a great mommy to a boy!!!! Congrats!

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  6. I had the same feeling when we went into get both of the ultrasounds and told Geoff that I just dont know what I would do with a boy due to the fact that I have 3 sisters. So I guess I was lucky that we had Maddy and now another girl because I did go crazy with buying all of the girl outfits and was worried that if we had a boy the next time I wouldnt have anyone to use all the clothes I bought. I actually just bought a bunch of new baby clothes and had to return most of them since I bought too many when Maddy was born. Geoff was worried about having a girl but Maddy LOVES cars and trains.
    A big plus for you too is that girls really do become Daddy girls and boys are mommy boys. It is definitely proven in my family. :)

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  7. Rebecca, I had a little bit of disappointment when we found out Brennan was a boy, because we knew we only wanted to have 2. I had envisioned cute dance costumes and dolly stuff, etc., and felt like I had to mourn a little bit before I could get really excited about the second boy. Of course, he is a total sweet pea and I think he and Charlie are going to be good buddies, so it's all good, but I understand your feelings completely!! Plus, the idea of raising a teenage girl is a little terrifying these days!

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  8. i agree that those of us who secretly want girls are blessed with boys first. of course we're all thrilled that the baby is healthy, that should go without saying, but i also had a bit of a minor breakdown that night. i wasn't so much upset that He wasn't a She but i was more scared because i know nothing about little boys, what they like, what they do, how to raise them. i felt like i had nothing to contribute to a little boy (unless he wasn't musicals out the wazoo, old hollywood knowledge, and a skill for wrapping gifts as well as a closet full of my old stuff that i'm saving). but after i got all the crying out i woke up the next day SO EXCITED for a little boy and i can't imagine it any other way now (though i am kinda hoping that i'll have a girl with a big brother still : )
    i'm glad you wrote about this and i completely agree with you! and he's gonna be the most perfect little boy you could ever imagine!

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