Dear Baby Smith (a.k.a. Doctor),
Tomorrow is our Blood Glucose/Gestational Diabetes Test. As your parent, I should tell you that this will be the first of many high-stakes tests that you will experience in your life. Hopefully by the time you enter school, the era of over-testing students will be over, but we won't count on that. Plus, you will certainly still have to take your driving test, the SAT, and college exams. They're no fun, but tests are a part of life.
With that in mind, I feel that I should tell you that in our household, we do our best to NOT FAIL TESTS. We are not going to be psycho Tiger Mom parents who expect you to get an A on every test you take, but we do expect you to take tests seriously and always do your best. If we ever find out that you have filled in the bubbles on one of your answer sheets to make a picture or spell out something obnoxious like "Doctor is Da Bomb" like one of my students did, you will be in BIG TROUBLE. Like, we might make you wear a t-shirt that says, "I think I'm da bomb even though I only got 10% correct on my state-mandated standardized test" to school for two weeks. And you will have to hand-wash that shirt each night, all by yourself. I'm sure your future therapist will have a field day with that one.
We realize that you will probably fail a few tests in your lifetime, and that's ok. For instance, if you ever have to take a test that involves musical ability or knowledge, you will probably be screwed, because I'm pretty sure that you only have one blood relative that is musically talented, while the rest of us would qualify for music Special Ed services (if they existed).
But since tomorrow is your FIRST high-stakes test, let's start out strong by not failing it. Let's drink the nasty orange sugar solution and show the nurse that Smiths are not test-failers, ok? Ok. Good talk.